| So I'm writing this mostly because people don't really read much on here.
Or at least...there is no way that people, of whom I will speak, will read this.
I'm quite keen on a girl.
Which is aggravating.
Mostly because she has a boyfriend.
But even if she didn't it would be aggravating.
I'm all about subtlety.
In other words I'm a coward.
I really am.
I don't come out and say things that I mean.
I infer them...
I wait until I know a particular outcome is definite and then I "pounce".
Because I know exactly what is going to happen.
I have always engineered relationships.
I am terrified of rejection.
But all that aside, due to the fact that it doesn't matter because she has a boyfriend.
I mean this girl is quite astounding.
She is clever, and beautiful, and quirky.
I can honestly say I've never met anyone like her.
She knows more random facts than I do.
And that...is saying something.
I guess I'm most aggravated by the fact that I can't pursue.
My entire base for interactions with attractive girls has been to try and make them want to date me.
I realize this is stupid and egotistical and in some ways sick.
But its even more annoying when I actually would like to perhaps date someone and cannot act according to the way I wish.
I fear I'm being more annoying and creepy than anything else.
And that aggravates me to no end.
All this said....only because it was annoying me to not have it said. |
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| Almost 4 months now...thats a long time.
I guess I'm good. |
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| I don't like life right now...
I have literally never thought this...until now.
I'm afraid...and lonely.
I'm not sure what to do now...I guess time will tell. |
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| Whether its springs slow steady onslaught
or memory of winters long frigid grip
March
brings hearts wavering.
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